We evolved to carry loads. Thanks to the invention of the plastic grocery bag, you need not look any further for evolutionary proof.
What we once called the index finger, we now call the produce finger, the middle or good old fuck you finger is the deli finger, the former ring digit, the six-pack toter, the delicate sophisticated pinky, the snack finger. Coupled with our ability to stand upright, our long torsos and a full complement of plastic bags, we now have improved balance. I’m the kind of guy who likes to get in a few extra daily steps by parking his car in a remote corner of the asphalt—not to be confused with a dude who wishes to keep his heap of precious metal dent-and-scratch-free.
In my perfect cart-free world, I emerge from the market looking like Bizzaro Edward Scissorhands. By the time I reach my car, I am sweating like a barber on Electric Chair Day. I have one of those fancy sensor thingamajigs under my bumper that unlatches the back hatch with a well-placed swipe of the foot. Both hands perfectly balanced with groceries, arms outstretched like the Great Wallenda, standing upon asphalt like a dorky stork, I swipe soccer style with my free foot under the doohickey. No result. I repeat my effort five, six, seven times and then conclude the sensor is left-footed today and I switch to opposite leg and give it the old college try and then realize it took me 16 years and four schools to graduate.
I set both handfuls down and open the hatch like a normal member of homo sapiens.
It’s one helluva workout.
You need not go to the market to get this kind of workout. You can mimic it by rucking.
Ruck sack, back pack, sad sack—whatever you want to call it, you simply load up your sack with some kind of weight. The additional poundage will work your core, glutes, spinal erectors and stabilizers and burn as many as 50-percent more calories than your bodyweight would do doing the same hiking.
Start out with ten pounds and gradually work your way up to heavier poundage. Ruck on smooth pavements at first and then try it on a field or any surface that is highly uneven and bumpy for some much-needed variation, my front yard and driveway for instance.
Do not run with the added weight because of the extra psi added by impact places undue stress upon the joints, even upon younger dudes.
I prefer using weight vests like those used by CrossFitters. The straps are more durable than regular backpacks. You can also purchase durable ruck sacks online.
I’ll come back to rucking later. Right now, I’m flexing my fingers; I have to make a grocery run.
